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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?